Friday, August 14, 2009

A Taffy Pullling Kind of Day

What I thought when I woke up this morning and what I think now are completely different. As different as coffee and toilet paper. It wasn't because God wasn't with me today, or that I felt abandoned, neglected, or afraid...it's because I was once again reminded of my own inadequacies...my own failures as both a child of God and a wife and mother. Surely I'm not alone in having days like this, but it still feels that way. I've come to some conclusions today that I am going to really be praying about because they could be conclusions based on sadness and not reality. I tend to do that when I get down on myself and say things like, "well, I'm NEVER going to talk again then," or "if I just wasn't so insecure everyone would be happier." That's my dark side. I am, by God's design an encourager. And I think that makes me easily discouraged, at least when it comes to myself and my own flaws. My dark side. I hate to admit that I get this way, that I struggle like this, but maybe my honesty will help someone else be honest too. At this exact moment in time I am feeling pretty terrible and hoping, just a little bit, that joy will come in the morning. Once I've given my tear-stained face and my over-loaded brain a good night's sleep. One good thing...even when I have terrible day's like this, God is usually gracious enough to me to give me a good night's sleep. So I look forward to that. And tomorrow's promise of JOY!

Feeling pretty stretched out,
Mrs. Taffy

7 comments:

  1. Trying to find wise words~ I have none~ but I woke up praying for you guys this morning!

    Trying still to find wise words,,,,,none,,,will KEEP praying!

    Love you guys!

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  2. I am sure you woke up with Joy this morning. I know exactly how you feel and word like that come out of me also. PRAISE the Father for his loving kindness and tender mercies. No matter how ugly we have been in the Flesh He knows exactly our true heart. In the midst of fleshly or spiritual trials and struggles we can be reassured that God is waiting for us to come to Him humbly and repent. Just like our own kids. They can throw a fit and temper tantrums (not saying you were LOL) and we know that when they come back to "reality" we are there to receive them with open arms. We know their true hearts. They love us and they are not naturally ugly in heart....they LOVE. Just sometimes our ugly flesh can get in the way.

    Bless you and thanks for sharing your heart....and I thought you were PERFECT....LOL!!!

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  3. Feeling better today? check your other account - I sent you an e-mail!

    I love you more than all the tea in China!

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  4. My dear sweet sister!

    I love you more than words can say. I woke up praying for you this morning. Praying that the goodness of God would encompass you and overwhelm you today. You are a bright shining light to wives and mothers everywhere. So I hope that today you receive the encouragement and strength that YOU need!! We love you!!!

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  5. Hope you are doing better today. I have not been on the blog for a few days, so only noticed this today. I know you know that nothing can separate you from the love of God, neither height nor depth.

    Love, Dad

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  6. You are certainly not alone in experiencing that. What you wrote reminded me A LOT of myself. I, too, am encourager and I also get discouraged easily. I was having one of those days yesterday and just had to hand over my "feelings" to God 'cause, man! those things are fickle! You'll have to check my blog featured on Destiny in Bloom out tomorrow:-)

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  7. i realize this is an older post and you've moved on from feeling this way, but it reminded me of how i feel sometimes. like the thing you want most in life is just a giant hug. it's like the days where i feel ugly or just like crying. hormones might have something to do with it, but i think it's also just that some people, who tend to give a lot of themselves, just need pouring into for a change! i'm a lot like that. actually... the more i read your blog, the more i think we're pretty siminlar. anyhow, i'm glad you got your God hug, and some from others! you're an amazing woman carissa!

    ~cuz Jeanette!
    www.jeanettetaylor.wordpress.com

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Your comments make me happy! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me!!